Notes, Quotes, Highlights, Annotations | How to Be Yourself by Ellen Hendriksen (Part 3/3)

Rather than reading about how to ride a bicycle, we have to get on the bicycle.

I know I can get nervous and still do whatever I want.

Challenge yourself a little, on your own terms.

A socially anxious brain, physiologically, is exactly the same as a non-socially anxious brain.

Whenever we get nervous, it is because there is something we don’t know.

The Inner Critic is already uncertain. Let’s show it that it’s actually wrong. It underestimates you.

The mantra of overcoming anxiety is specify, specify, specify.

Remember, feelings aren’t facts. Thoughts are transient, not truth.

Pay attention, on purpose, to your breath. Feel the air enter your nostrils.

You know from experience that just showing up is the worst part. It gets better from there.

You’ve done hard things before, and I know you can do this, too, even while you’re feeling nervous.

It’s okay to feel awkward as long as you keep moving forward.”

She congratulated herself for being brave, despite it being uncomfortable,

It’s time to go face some fears.

Our brains tell us the worst is possible, but with experience we learn it’s not probable.

You have to earn the comfort through being uncomfortable many, many times.”

We’re ready when we’re uncomfortable.

Think of all the things you don’t feel like doing

We can put action before motivation.

True bravery is being afraid and doing it anyway.

Looking confident, makes people treat you with respect.

If I die, I die. Fuck it.”

One, we are much safer than our imaginations would have us believe, and two, we can handle it.

So commit to being brave for one minute. Once you do that, it’s all downhill from there.

“Do it before you feel confident and the confidence will catch up.”

You’ll feel anxious, square your shoulders, and do it anyway.

Remind yourself of your best and your best will show up.

If you start planning an escape route, you know you’ve found your last big challenges.

Practice gone wrong is often great fodder for conversation.

Listen closely to what they’re saying. Focus on them, them, them.

“But wait, these are just people!”

How you feel inside and how you appear outside don’t match.

We consistently overestimate the amount of attention paid to us.

Not only do most people not notice, but also noticing doesn’t necessarily equal judging.

We also try to see the best in others, but assume others will see the worst in us.

Resist comparing their filtered image to your everyday, unfiltered reality.

Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy.

People who are more “embarrassable” are nicer, more trustworthy, and more generous.

You don’t have to be outgoing; you just have to be curious.

The placebo effect just gave them the confidence to put their skills to use.

Dare to be average. Fake it until you are it.

Raise a glass because you want to, not because you need to.

if you tell yourself you are not allowed to say anything totally stupid you won’t say anything.

It doesn’t have to be smart, insightful, or articulate—it just has to be about you.

A lot of conversations are lame, but here’s the thing: a lame conversation doesn’t mean you’re lame.

People like those who like them. People also like those who take the initiative.

Competence and confidence aren’t what others are hoping for in a friend—they’re hoping for warmth.

You don’t have to be outgoing, extroverted, confident, or popular.

All you have to be is kind.

“You always assume that you’re the only one who’s anxious and no one else is.”

The courage to face your fears is in you,

To you jump in before you’re confident your confidence will catch up.

Each trip over the anxiety peak erodes it.

To keep showing up, to disclose bits of your life, and to show others you like them.

Who you are when you’re not afraid is your authentic self.

Go forth and do. Stretch. Grow. And in doing so, you will find your truth—your authentic self.

What’s your favorite line so far?

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